End of Life Issues
If you are reading this section of
the Elder Care Guide, it is likely that
you recently experienced a loss or
feel you will soon. We know this is a
difficult time for you and we hope the
information you find here will help you
get through this period.
This Section Includes:
• Frequently Asked Questions
• How To Help A Grieving
Do People Grieve The Same?
While many aspects of grieving are universal,
(feelings of sadness, numbness, confusion,
depression), there is no single prescribed way
to grieve. Grieving is an individual endeavor.
Some want to have many people around with
whom they can share and explore their feelings.
Others prefer to deal with loss more privately.
Most people report that grieving is much like
being on an emotional roller coaster.
Do Men and Women Grieve Differently?
The cultural stereotypes of women and men
in grief are inaccurate. Generally, they portray
women as being expressive with their grief while
men are the “strong and silent” type. The reality
is that some men need and want to express and
share their feelings, while some women prefer
to do their grief work in a more low-key way.
What Helps Grieving?
• Seek out supportive people. Find a relative,
friend, neighbor or spiritual leader who will
listen non-judgmentally and provide you
with support as you sort your way through
• Join a support group. Being with others
who have had a similar loss is therapeutic.
Express your feelings. Do this by confiding
in a trusted friend or by writing in a journal.
• Take care of your health. Eat balanced,
QUESTIONS ABOUT GRIEF
by Victor Parachin
How Long Does Grief Last?
Because every griever is a unique personality,
there is no single answer to this question. In
most cases, the pain associated with grieving
begins to subside considerably in the second
and third years following loss. The heavy,
depressive feelings in earlier months begin to
break up with more hopeful optimistic feelings.
What Are The Signs of Grief?
On the emotional level, the bereaved
experience some of the following: disbelief,
shock, numbness, denial, sadness, anxiety, guilt,
depression, anger, loneliness or frustration. The
physical symptoms of grief include tightness
of the chest or throat, pain in the heart area,
panic attacks, dizziness or trembling. Grievers
also report sleep disturbance, as in either too
much or not enough sleeping.
Will I Ever Stop Crying?
Even though it may be difficult to believe,
the tears will come to an end. This will not
happen abruptly but gradually, and even after
the intense crying ceases, there may be times
when hearing a song or seeing a place can bring
a moment of sadness along with a tear.