Life
in conversation
with charles garfield
author of
“our wisdom years”
why does some of the most
profound growth of our lives
happen after age sixty?
After age 60, there begins a new stage of life
after adulthood that I call later life. This new
stage is as important and substantial as the
transition from adolescence to adulthood and
has as much potential for growth. Fulfillment
now matters more than success. Although there
is an increasing awareness of a limited life span
after 60, there is also the reality that the fastest
growing segment of the population are people
over 100. Therefore, there may be as long as 40
years of life in this new stage of our journey where
the two most vital growth lessons, as we review
our lives, are: who do we truly love and who truly
loves us? And what work have we done that has
made a positive difference in the lives of others?
We are more conscious of our mortality after 60,
and hence, of the meaning that our lives have had.
why is our model of what
it means to grow older
incomplete?
There are two models of aging that are most
apparent and each of the two is incomplete. First
is what I call the “decline and debilitation model”
which says that aging is a predominantly negative
experience characterize by bodily disintegration
and cognitive impairment. Although there is
certainly a reduction in bodily efficiency and at
times mental prowess, many people in later life
are still sharp and capable.
Second is the notion that “nothing has changed.
You’re as good as you ever were.” This model
denies the actual physical and mental changes
that occur during later life.
What’s missing is the potential that exists when
we have as many as 40 years more to live during a
new stage of development called later life. When
we base our assumptions about growing older on
the basics of adulthood, we try to continue getting
gratification from success and achievement
rather than our higher values such as gratitude,
love, compassion, service, beauty and justice.
This violates the essence of what later life’s
potential is about.
why is the paradigm of
“successful/active aging”
problematic in later life?
Successful/active aging is often problematic in
later life because it says that achievement and
success are the bottom line for contentment.
Again, this is based on the assumption that later
life is merely an extension of adulthood and
ignores the new stage of life that begins around
age 60. During later life, contentment is no longer
based on “climbing a ladder” to achieve ever more
challenging goals. Rather, it is based on a life that
expresses our higher values, communicates our
gratitude for what we have been given and for
the journey we have lived, and forgives others
and ourselves for whatever transgressions we
have experienced. The “successful/active aging”
paradigm is based on “doing” while the later life
paradigm of aging is based on answering the
question: Who is my soul now calling me to be?
how can we retrieve
forgotten or neglected parts
of ourselves?
First, ask yourself the question: what forgotten or
neglected parts of yourself would leave you most
content were you to actualize them? Second,
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