APPRAISAL BUZZ FALL 2020 | 39
I was appraising a Roaring 20’s mansion in one of
the oldest “high end” communities of central Ohio.
The owner said she would be working in the
kitchen if I needed anything. I asked if anyone else
was home because I’d been down that road a few
to measure, sketch, and document the 8,000 SF
mansion.
proceeded to the 2nd, turned left at the top of the
sweeping bridal staircase, and kept turning left. I
the owner’s 16-year-old daughter getting out of the
shower. I screamed like a little girl, dropped my
camera, and clapped my hand over my eyes,
spluttered multiple variations of “OMG, I’m SO sorry,
no one is supposed to...” about 15 times in 3 seconds.
My professional life, marriage, and clean
swear,” I screamed in a pitch I’ve not been
able to hit intentionally since the onset of
puberty. One of those notes reserved for
Mariah Carey and Castrati.
The owner’s daughter was laughing so
hard when her mom came running in
that she couldn’t put together a
sentence - just pointing at me and
laughing. Owner looked at me then
looked over to her daughter and said, “Are
you okay? I heard YOU scream,” which
daughter, who just pointed at me and
managed to say “t’was him.” Apparently,
I was white as a ghost, because the owner asked
several times if I was “going to be alright.”
After my pulse returned to a safe level, I gathered
that the daughter’s cheerleading practice ended early
and the Mom didn’t hear the daughter coming home
through the “Rear Foyer.”
inspection and went back to the kitchen to let the
three of her friends, and the mom. I managed to
croak out something like “All done, have a good
laughing hysterically at the great big ogre who nearly
wet himself at the sight of a little girl. Yeah, not my
proudest moment.
I was appraising a rural property in the mountains
near Gettysburg. Nice rancher, after inspecting the
The owner, a rather large guy with a resemblence
to Grizzly Adams said “you’re not afraid of snakes
are you?” I said “no, I don’t bother them if they
don’t bother me” and chuckled thinking he had
a pet boa or something. As we proceded down
over 200 snakes in glass cases. Rattlers, cobras,
pit vipers, boas, coral snakes, etc. Turns out he is
a snake wrangler, milks snakes for venom and
breeds them. I was in awe as I walked around.
Cobras were spitting venom at me only hitting the
glass of their enclosures. It was the most unusual
interior inspection I have done in 30 years.
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