39
Ours was a catacomb position when
offering the Holy Mass. If discovered, we
were severely punished. But the Mass to
us was always worth the danger and
the sacrifice; we treasured it and would
do almost anything in order to say, or
to attend a Mass. I turned to God in
prayer throughout the day, and made
Spiritual Communions. I knew He was
with me. Often the Holy Mass could not
be said in the morning; yet, the people
worked all day, fasting until late afternoon
or evening, in order to attend Mass
or receive Holy Communion. They
never complained. The bread and wine
for Mass was smuggled in to us by the
people of the town. Life in the labor
camps was Calvary for these people,
and there was nothing I would not
do to offer up the sacrifice of Calvary
again for them each day in the Holy
Sacrifice of the Mass.
Death is a subject which is taboo in
the Communist milieu. In an ideology
of atheistic materialism, death is the
end of everything. Death may be feared
by those who do not believe, but death
itself is not a thing we fear. It means
no more or less than the end of our
testing period here on earth. It is a
return, a going Home to God the Father
Who created us. We think and speak
of it, anticipate it daily, even eagerly,
because of our faith. We can learn to
yearn for it, prepare ourselves for it,
and embrace it in peace and joy until,
at last, we are called Home to our
heavenly inheritance.
At long last, I was given my document
of liberation. I guess one must be
deprived of freedom in order to truly
realize what a precious gift freedom
truly is. Yet, the fullest freedom I have
known and the greatest sense of
security I have ever had, came the day
on which I abandoned my will entirely
to the Will of God. After that, I had no
fear. No pain, failure or even death
could cause me any anxiety. This total
abandonment to God’s holy Will was
my greatest joy and the source of
tremendous interior strength.
Total abandonment and conformity
to God’s Will is the ultimate and eternal
freedom. It is victory! A spirituality
that is based on complete trust in God
is the surest guarantee of peace of soul
and freedom of spirit. Our primary
responsibility then, the main object
of all our efforts, must be the transformation
of ourselves, our hearts and
our lives in order to faithfully fulfill our
daily duty. Whether we are married
and taking care of a home and family,
studying in school, working at an
office, factory or on a farm; whether
we are dedicated to the priestly or
religious life, it matters very little.
In whatever we do, we must seek
FIRST the Kingdom of God, whose
Grace is always given to us, but we must
learn to recognize it in the people and
the circumstances presented to us by
God’s providence. We know that we
do not always respond to God’s Grace,
for His Grace demands of us sacrifice,
self-renunciation, unfailing effort and
an untiring spirit of dedication. Evil, sin,
hatred and violence, wars, persecution,
immorality and denial of God will
continue as long as men refuse to
accept God’s Grace, and do His holy
Will. The person who is humble will
blame himself for the disorders in his
life, for his failures and faults, and he
will strive to recapture his dedication
to God’s Will after he has fallen. The