Thedivine
foodie
y Jen Wead
Once again for the
folks in the back
IBy Jen Wead
I had written a column about how to tell when a watermelon is
ripe about a year ago and that is just what I was telling the students
of the cooking class I teach. I was holding the watermelon and explaining
the various ways that you can tell that it is just perfect. In
retrospect, I was almost making myself out to be a darn watermelon
expert with the detail that I was giving them. They were all listening
intently. I should have known when I put my knife against the rind
and applied pressure that things weren’t going to go as planned.
The second my blade pierced through the beautiful green rind, a
splash of juice literally squirted me in the face. I tried to play it off,
I teach healthy cooking classes for Humana Community Partners
all over the Bay Area. There was about thirty people in class
that day. I set up on tables at the front of the class and bring my
own equipment, so imagine a regular classroom type of setting, not
a kitchen. For some reason, I decided to keep cutting that watermelon.
As I was doing this, the juices began gushing out, far beyond
the cutting board and onto the table. It was all happening so fast
that I didn’t have time to react because the momentum of the slice
was taking me to the bottom of that watermelon. By the time my
knife was against the cutting board, the juice was pouring off the
watermelon until it is cascading rapidly off all four sides of a table
I quickly tried to grab an aluminum sheet pan and put it under
the table. I did the best that I could with the few paper towels that I
had to corral the still dripping juices into the pan. The entire time,
that the only thing that I wasn’t good at was the thump. How does a
hollow watermelon sound exactly? The inside of the melon looked
sheepishly looked at the class and said, “Welp, we won’t be having
the watermelon with our meal, so let’s just move on to the next recipe.”
The class was sweet and forgiving and we all pretended that
there wasn’t a sound that was akin to the pattering on a tin roof for
almost the entire duration of the next recipe. That melon dripped
mercilessly until the end of the hour long class. It was comical. I
often envision myself as the muppet chef when I do these classes,
work. On that day, I lived up to that vision.
After that class, I felt a little defeated. I had tried every technique
I had learned EXCEPT the thump and, clearly, they didn’t
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